T-Minus Thirteen Days....

Whoo golly this is getting rough.

I have two weeks, two measly weeks until the marathon. My runs from here on out, will all be under ten miles. I've bought new shoes for some spring in my step, and a new running outfit which I will hopefully get to wear on race day, weather permitting. (Please let me look cute, weather!)

Sounds like easy going, right?

Ugh, WRONG!!!!

I went out on my 12 mile run last Saturday thinking "so short, only 12 miles" and found myself sorely mistaken. Mostly, I was sore. You see, there's this thing that happens during the taper where your muscles for feel sluggish and like they don't want to move. (My theory is that YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR SIX MONTHS. Your body and brain are telling you to quit. And yet we keep going... what is wrong with me?)

I walked a lot, took a lot of breaks, and was this close (picture two fingers super close together) to calling for someone to come pick me up and take me home. And that was at mile 6! How the badoodles am I ever going to run 26.2 miles?!?

Have you ever been so burned out on a job that you nearly burst into tears just from going to work each day? Where the slightest thing will set you off, make you cry, or want to hide in the bathroom? Or you consider calling in sick every single day. This is exactly how I feel about running. I am burned out to such an extent that I can't even keep my emotions in check for 12 miles. 

At the end of my run on Saturday this guy ran by me and started making hand signals. I thought he was another friendly lakeshore runner telling me I'm awesome and to keep going. No, turns out he was correcting my form. Telling me how I was running wrong. No doubt just trying to be helpful, but I was eleven miles into hating myself and I couldn't handle it. I burst into tears AND did this new "nearly asthma" thing that keeps happening when I'm running and crying at the same time. No doubt this guy thought I was crazy, but serves him right for being a helpful jerk. What's he do, stop and tell every single person that he's whizzing past how they're running wrong? Or does he pick one lucky victim each day and Saturday was my day?

Moral of the story: please, only say encouraging things to your fellow athletes. You don't know how much they're loving or hating what they're doing right then, and constructive criticism is not something you should give to strangers. 

Other moral of the story: Don't run a marathon. But if you do..... don't give up two weeks before it happens....

 

(It should be noted that I failed at following my own advice today. I missed my first training run of the week because I prioritized work all day today. I could have gone for a run when I got home... at 10... but I decided not to. Wracked with guilt and shame, I am now suffering the consequences, and wondering if it's possible to laze yourself out of the marathon.)

Out for a Month, In for a Weekend

Ever wonder if someone could take an entire month off of marathon training and still do the race? Well folks, we are about to find out. My 10 mile run was on July 10th, and my first real run back was on August 9th. 

An update: I did my PT exercises diligently last week. They hurt oh so bad but made me feel so much better. I continued to ride my bike (talk about saddle sore. Yeesh!) and do my ab workouts (back to level 3 by August... made one goal at least!). One of my extremely long bike rides took me from Lawrence toward downtown:

How bout that skyline, eh?

And even further south, to the other side of downtown (by the aquarium). 

That black building that stands on it's own off to the right? Same as the black building that stands on it's own at the left of the other picture. I went faaar.

On Friday I went on my test run. My wonderful friend Janell went with me to keep me company and support my nerves. And I did it! It felt a little tight at moments, but I had no pain in the heel at all. What a relief!

The next day I was eager to go again, and my boyfriend ran circles around me (I am not joking). I was slow as a snail, but still no pain. 
 
Because I'm a little late on this week's post I'll update you all the way. Monday I got to do five miles at an increased interval. How exciting! The next day went something like this:

 Me: How are you feet?
 Feet: We're swell, thank you for asking!
 Me: Excellent, everything's fine and groovy the--OHMYGOSH THE PAIN!
 Thighs: We thought you quit the marathon! We don't like yooooouuuu!!!!

So cross training is great, and sooo important.... but your muscles will definitely be different. I took 2 days off running and hit the PT hard on Tuesday and today, and I get to go on a five mile RUN run tomorrow. Hopefully everything will be back in order. (Although I'm sure my thighs will continue to threaten a coup the day after.)

I'll be honest: I'm a little nervous that the rug is going to get yanked out from under me and it's all going to hurt very badly again and I won't be able to do my 'thon. After living with the pain of retail feet for years, and the tendinopathy for a month, this near pain free feeling that I'm having seems too good to be true. I don't trust it. But I'm going to keep doing exactly what the PT says and hope for the best. Because hope is awesome.

And here's a flower that I meant to post ages ago, forgot about, and then found on my phone today. Because it's hopeful!!

This Post Was Brought To You Today....

This post was brought to you today by the letter D and the number 7. D for the word of the week: discouraged, and 7 for the number of days I have been that way.

Discouraged Bear says "Bears can be discouraged too!"

I'll be honest. As I was writing the last post, where I talked about all my specatcular achievements I already knew this was coming. I began to notice it on Sunday, before the 5k, and felt a little pain while running the race. I went out Tuesday thinking "well, yesterday my Achilles tendon hurt a little, but I'm going to do my run today and take it really easy..." 

Really easy was not enough. It was a very painful run, and when I got home I knew I couldn't do that again anytime soon. Thank goodness it was a cutback week, meaning we got a bit of break in mileage because we'd come so far. I also new it was time for new shoes (bye bye paycheck). So the next day the only running I did was on the treadmill at a specialty running store as I tested out some new kicks. At the suggestion of the sales associate, who is also an avid runner, I have been mostly swimming and biking since then. And of course, I've been icing it since I learned of the issue.

In an attempt to feel less lazy, I did what I call a combo package on Saturday: 12 miles on the bike and what I think was about a 30 minute swim in the lake. I did feel less lazy, but man did it take a long time. I was able to complete my ab DVD yesterday, and did a torpid 3 mile run today with a small but persistent amount of pain. However, the rest and icing has brought the swelling down, and I have very little pain during the day when I'm walking and working.

All this has really scared me. I finally admitted it to myself over the weekend, and I spoke the words out loud on the phone tonight, surprised to find myself near tears. I'm no longer 100% sure that I will be able to complete the marathon. Up to this point I have really thought that nothing would stop me from crossing the finish line, even if I crawled it, but my faith has been shaken. I am frustrated by the fact that no amount of determination and pluck can get me through it if my body won't do it. And so I'm frightened that my big goal might not happen.

I'm also disappointed about the fundraising challenge I set myself. I have amazing friends and co-workers and five all-stars donated this week, surprising and delighting me. I am enormously grateful for them and for the $50 we raised (that's enough to give one person clean water for their whole life! What an awesome thing we've done!). But the goal was 10 people, and I only made it halfway. 

And that's how I feel about that.

Nothing to be done about that but thank Lizzie, Juan, Kate, Leah, and Janell for giving their hard earned dollars, and to try and get 5 more this week. Lizzie, Juan, Kate, and Leah, you will be in my mental list of supporters during mile six of the marathon, and Janell you are my first person to push me through big mile seven! I will be so happy to be thinking of you all on race day. Folks, the challenge is still going. Even though I didn't make it in the week I hoped for, I'm still going for those 10 donations! Let's make this week the week.

So maybe this was mopey, or had no moral, but this is how I'm feeling right now. I just needed a little moment to share my setbacks with you. I'm encouraged that I'm feeling a little better, and I will continue to convalesce this week as I take it easy. We'll see how it goes...

 

In Which It Was A Doozy (3 Times)

This week I ran 10 miles. Double digits baybeee!!!! It was a gorgeous, sunny Chicago morning. Slightly warm, but not too hot. The city looked beautiful, the lake was calm and shiny, and everybody was in a good mood. Yay! This was also my first week back to running group after two weeks on my own (because getting up at 6 am is haaarrd). Along the way I saw a boat named Perseverance II and we passed under Solidarity Drive. Clearly, all were symbols of our (read: my) awesomeness. I definitely benefitted from running with new friends and chatting along the way. They benefitted because they made me pacer, which was a bad idea. I made them run some miles too fast, because I am a bad pacer, or because I am a good motivator. You choose which.

In honor of my 10 mile success I have set myself a lofty goal for this week: To get ten people to donate to my marathon fund. I've been daunted lately by the huge dollar signs I am supposed to raise, so I thought "Why not break it down like I do my training?" Folks, this is totally doable, and the best part is it can be 10 people donating $1 each, or any other amount. I know, I know, this is how your bank account might feel after you donate:

It's how I felt after my 10 miles, too!

But I promise, this is how you will feel inside after you donate money that helps people get clean water:

.

So proud you might even eat a banana!

I know, because that's how I feel after I run and fundraise to get people clean water! Click the link in my pages section, or just go here!

The other thing I did this week was run my first race! That's right! The Burger and Beer 5k, which I ran with my best running buddy (also one of my accountabilibuddies), Vashti! Technically we did not run this with one another as she was going for a super speedy time. But we waved at eachother at the halfway point!

This run supported the Special Olympics, which was really cool and a cause that my parents are very fond of. They have volunteered at the Special Olympics and have awesome stories about getting hugs from the participants at finish lines, etc. This time the S.O. participants were giving me water, so it felt very full circle and smiley.

I was not planning on running any races before the marathon, and certainly not any 5ks. I mean, I do 3 miles two times a week, and my other runs are longer than that, so they're not really an "event" for me anymore. Here's why I'm glad I did it: 

• It was really cool to see so many fitness levels working hard in the same place. There were 60 year old men out there beating everyone, 12 year olds who are faster than me, and people who just hoped to run the whole race.  It gave me a lot of perspective in how far I've come and how far I could (read: will) go.
• I'm really glad I participated in a race before the 'thon. It's really different from running on your own. I found it very difficult to know how fast I was going because I was in an entirely new environment. You're so surrounded by people that it is difficult to find any stationary objects to gauge your pace off of.
• I now know what it feels like to run with so many people, and try to compete with myself instead of them. I feel a little more prepared for race day. Yay prep and research!
• I got a beer and burger at the end.  

The super secret twist ending is that because I had so much trouble with my pace (aka I like to pass people, and I actually could!) that I ran the whole thing at an 8.23 minute mile. That means I beat my pace group, and went waaay faster than I expected to go. It also means that if I do the same thing at the actual 'thon I'll poop out after 3 miles. Lesson hopefully learned. Hopefully.

And here we are! Post race (hence the crazy eyes and sweat) but pre burger and beer reward. 

We went fast!

So there you have it! Running my first double digits, and an actual 5k. Pretty big 3 days. Think how much more awesome this week will be if I can just get to my 10 people! A big huzzah to Lizzy and Juan who made donations one and two to start me off right. Thank you!!!! Let's keep it up!


Edit: Official Race results!

I came in at 25:26, meaning I actually ran an 8:13 min mile. 
I came in 30th in my female age bracket.
I came in 345th overall. 
As far as I can tell, there were 1,230 participants and 194 in my age bracket. 
I will let those numbers speak for themselves.

Happy Memorial Day!

After a huge emotional growth spurt last week this week, thankfully, was a pretty normal week. Normal things happened, with normal challenges, and normal feelings, and normal successes.

There are a couple of things that I'm really proud of. The first is that I got my eating habits on track last week and lost 5 pounds! You may remember from this post that I was doing silly things like eating ice cream for breakfast, so as you can imagine I had put on a little padding. It wasn't difficult to clean up my eating, but I still had to make the decision to do it! For anyone who is curious, my weight loss method is simply counting calories, eating fresh foods, lots of fruits and veggies, and working out. Ground breaking, right? Not at all, but it really works!

Secondly, I am really proud of my "long run" this week. It was on a day when I'd had very little sleep the night before, and just finished nine hours of retail. My feet were killing me, I was hungry and tired and the Blackhawks were playing. All I wanted to do was sink into my big green chair and not get up again. But I went! I went past one of my favorite places in Chicago.

It's beautiful!

Wrigley is surrounded by bars, most of them sporty in nature and as I ran I discovered that I could keep up with the Hawks game through their windows. So a tip for any sports-fan-runners out there: run past your town's main sports bar strip and you can watch the game as you go! I must remember this for football season.

My long run was 55 minutes this week, and in the end I clocked 5.2 miles. That's not including my walking warm ups and cool downs. I was stunned at how far I went! For Chicago locals I nearly made it down to Diversey. That is FAR! There was a moment of elation as I turned around at the halfway point, knowing what a great distance I'd travelled, immediately followed by a moment of terror. I was so far from home, how would I get back? The answer, of course, was to run, but it seemed really tough at that moment. But I did it, and in the last 15 minutes I kicked on the turbo boost and ran hard. In my head I wanted to give it all I had before rest day, and after a long crummy work day. And my rest day was that much more peaceful, knowing that I had given everything I had. As a street graffiti artist reminded me this week:

I also really appreciate whoever fixed the your/you're situation going on here.

 Folks, you're all worth it. Whatever it is you're wanting to change about your life, you deserve it. If it's the job, or wanting to get out and go for walks or be more active, you can do it. Change is hard, but also so worthwhile, and you really can achieve whatever you desire. Just work for it, and go get it!

In closing I would like to say a big thank you to our current serving men/women and those who have served in the past. You are awesome, important, and heroic. Thank you for everything you do.

Another big thank you to Greg, who is my donation rock star this week! I learned that my donation goal is $50 for every mile I run, which is outstanding. As I run the marathon I will remember who believed in me for each mile of the race! Greg, that means you're a mile 4 sponsor! Thank you! This amazing piece of information also means that if I hit my goal we will have helped 26.2 people get clean water for the rest of their lives! Folks, let's make that happen. In fact, let's get reckless and round up to 27. Because what's .2 of a person anyway? That doesn't exist. So thank you to my sponsors up to this point, and know that you will be with me on race day! 
Gracias! Danke! Merci! Grazie! Thanks!

Can't Win for Losing

I missed two runs this week. Whew, glad I got that out of the way quick. I'm ashamed and a little embarrassed and more than a little guilty. There are days when being awake physically hurts. Adding running to the mix becomes insult to injury.

Here's the story. I was broken up with on Tuesday. Now don't get me wrong, I am probably glad it happened. He was not the right guy for me, and that was rapidly becoming apparent. But being dumped makes you feel like you were tied in a bag, kicked a bunch, and then dragged down a dirt road and left in a ditch. Emotionally speaking, of course. Just writing it is making me feel a little like that right now, so I will put in a picture of a flowering tree. Just to cheer everyone up.

There. Now don't you feel better? I do.

Think I curled up into a ball in my bed and hid the next day? Nope. That part doesn't come until Friday. The following day I felt like poo but bounced out of bed, went for my run, and "enjoyed" my full day off as best I could. You can't stay indoors when Chicago looks like this:

Chicago is a pretty lady in the spring.

I followed this by industriously cleaning up my deck, setting up the table and rustlin' up an exceptionally healthy lunch. Looks like perfection, doesn't it?

And a book too!? It must be perfection!

 But it wasn't. And although I made it through the first day unscathed, as the week went on I somehow felt worse and worse. "But that's backwards!" you say. "You're supposed to feel better as the days go on, not worse!" Trust me, my friends, I was confused as well. All I know is by Friday I was eating a 1/3 pint of Ben & Jerry's for breakfast and the idea of getting out of bed at 7 before an extremely long day to run was ludicrous. 

Unfortunately, I have no moral to this story. I only know that I chose to miss two days this week, and I wanted to be honest with you guys. This blog is about accountability after all, and you have to be honest with your accountabilibuddies. 

I do feel badly about it, but I am confident that I will get to the marathon in spite of this small setback. Today I popped out for the long run that I was supposed to do yesterday, and I plan on hitting all my runs this week as well as cleaning up my diet. I'm an adult, I can eat Ben & Jerry's for breakfast if I want, but that doesn't mean I should. Fresh fruits and veggies make me feel energized and well fueled. Cream based dairy products do not. So here's to a new start, four weeks of running, my health, and single spring in Chicago! 

And last, but most importantly, a humongous thank you to all the friends and family who reached out and made their love for me known. You guys made me feel awesome despite feeling crummy. Especially Gabby, who used her birthday as an excuse to donate to my marathon fund! I burst into happy, grateful tears, which were much better than the sad ones I had been crying just moments before. Thank you for the love, you fantastic people!!!!