And Then One Day You Run 20 Miles...

Ay caramba this weekend was rough! My little feeties may never forgive me.

That being said, I ran 20 MILES! (Cue bells, whistles, confetti, ticker tape parade, balloons, fireworks, and other forms of excessive celebration.)

This was, by far, the hardest run I have ever done, which should go without saying. But after completing 18 miles, you logically think "it's only 2 miles more!" This was utter rubbish.

I went into this run scared, and with feet that already hurt.  My shoes are a little tired, and my will is very worn out. My 10 mile run that I did two days before was hard; this was twice as long. I was worried about injury, and nervous about time. I will say that, other than injury, all of these fears were validated and were awful. I wanted to quit, go home, and never run again ever after only five miles.

Super long story short, I did it. I averaged 14:30 a mile, which means I am only 30 seconds per mile under being able to complete the race in time. This is not great, as I'll likely run the last 6.2 even slower. I am scared about completion.

That being said, I have never experienced a feeling quite as strange as what I felt after this run. Other than complete and utter exhaustion and pain, I was also feeling two big thigns at once. Many of you know that I created the extremely useful word, "nervecited" for the moments when you are both nervous and excited (every day of an actor's life). If I were going to name my new feeling it would be this:

"Prumbled - an extreme feeling of pride and accomplishment combined with embarrassment and utter humility at what a mess you are."

I stumbled in after the run and couldn't get the hugs I wanted because I was coated in salt. I sat down immediately and started crying, with a little screaming in pain, as I rolled out the plantar fasciitis in my heels. I literally crawled to the bathroom, and could barely lift my legs high enough to get over the edge of the tub and into the shower. I then showered seated on the floor of the tub because standing is for chumps. There were friends there witnessing most of this. Prumbled.

I now get to taper, or ease down on my distance before the race. I may not even do all my runs. I am so burnt out on this dumb running thing that even though they are shorter distances it is going to be a challenge to get myself to go out daily. I'd really love to quit now, but I can't.

See? Can't quit yet. Three weeks left.

Here's the thing: I know I will be super glad when it's all over that I tried and did it and stuff. If they close the course on me, well I know the route and should be near the end so I'll finish anyway, dammit. But at this point I can't say that I recommend this to anyone. Not even for a bucket list dream. You can raise money for your favorite charity another way. You can get really fit another way. This way pain and destruction lies. However, my parents taught me that when I've made a commitment I have to stick with it through the end of the season, and the season's not over yet. Learned that the hard way with piano lessons too...