One Week More

This post was going to be devoted to happy things, since I feel like I've been a downer the last couple of times. But some crazy business has gone down in the last week, and I feel like I need a moment to PSA.

Before you read any further, take a minute to introduce yourself to taper madness. This excellent article (which gives great insight to people who are supporting marathoners as well as those of us running the race) shed some light on the fact that I have gone coo-coo-cachoo in the last couple of weeks. Like legitimately bonkers folks. 

My friends who were just pregnant kept talking about baby brain, and my head has been equally foggy and frustrating. I can't remember my normal schedule, can't keep track of things that I do every day, and while I am normally hyper organized and clean right now everything feels like it is going to shambles around me. I am panicking more often than not, and had no idea that it was normal (or at least expected).

For the record, I have done four of the five things on the article's list (because getting lost on the course would just be impossible), and wish someone had told me a month ago that I was supposed to warn my loved ones a month before the race and tell them I would lose my sanity and they would all hate me.

The article also describes taper madness as "unpleasant." That is vastly understated.

So just know that taper madness is a thing, and that we deal with it, and you have to too, because you know us. 

This ends the PSA portion of our programming. Now back to your regularly scheduled silly pictures.

Fo Realz, Mr. Turtle.

Because I'm mad for tapers!

It's gonna be my pace.

Please don't, Mr. Gossling (pleasepleasedon'treallifeboyfriendJeff).

In other news, I collected the check for my birthday party/fundraiser that I held on September 28th. Folks, we raised $250 from the raffle and $609 from the charity power hour. That is un-freaking-believable. I am so incredibly proud of everyone who donated, and extremely grateful (especially to Jeff, who provided most of the friends). So from the total $859 we raised we will be able to give seventeen people clean water for their entire lives!!

I've smashed my initial goal of $1310 (fifty dollars - or one person - for every mile I run) and am hoping to reach $2000 by race day. Guys, it's only $216 more than where I am right now.

So please, if you have been following, enjoying, or stumbled upon this blog and you have not been able to donate yet, consider doing so in this last week. Even just a little bit will help me get those last dollars in. Donate here, and feel free to enter any amount under $50 in the "other" slot. 

Thank you for joining me on this crazy journey. Thank you if you have donated. Thank you if you have given me hugs, rubbed my feet, or listened to me cry about this experience in any way. You are all wonderful, and I would not have made it this far without any of you. I am taking you all with me on race day, and the next time you hear from me it will all be over. And hopefully with very, very, good news.

Progress is Progress.....

I have a new motto this week: 

Physical therapy last week went pretty well, and I was told my IT band is the problem. It runs from your hip to your knee on the outside of your leg, and when you run long distances it starts to overcompensate as your hammies, quads, and calves get tired. It's a very common runner problem. So I was given more exercises and told not to run for the ambiguous "a couple of days."

I rested Friday, did my ab workout Saturday, and rested Sunday. I diligently did allll of my PT exercises (I am now up to an hour and a half of PT each day).

Today I went out to run, hoping but I guess not expecting to get in my 16 mile run. My knee started to twinge a little around mile 2, but by adjusting my form (standing straighter and engaging my abs/glutes) and breathing I was able to run through the twinges without much to do. I thought "Gee, this is going quite well actually. Last Wednesday I couldn't get past 3 miles! I'm going to do as much as I can."

Kept breathing. Kept focusing on squeezing my abs and my glutes, and was chugging along at a slow 12-12 min 30 sec mile. Sufficient for where I am, a big improvement from last week.

Then I stopped to get a drink of water. HUGE mistake. I couldn't start running again without a lot of pain in my knee, no matter how much I squeezed all the other muscles that should be doing the work. Except things had been going so well, so now I'm down at Navy Freaking Pier and not able to run. I made it 7.5 miles before I had to stop, and I am trying to convince myself that, from the 3 miles I was able to run last Wed that is a good improvement. But I'm at Navy Freaking Pier. No bus pass. No bike. Just my little drumsticks to get me home. 

So I walked. And walked. And kept walking and walked all the way home. The entire endeavor took 4 hours, 10 minutes, and 31 seconds. I mean.... really. Because I had to walk, I was out in the sun for a lot longer than I expected and I hadn't put on sunscreen. In addition, the lakeshore trail was really dirty and dusty today, so I came back an absolute mess. Sunburned, looking like I'd rolled on the ground, and tear stained because I am so frustrated with this process that I just don't want to do it anymore. Seriously, look at this picture:

"Are you wearing flesh colored leggings, Kel?" "NO, that's my leg!!!"

This is what it looked like before I showered, and they're not much different now. I'm a lobster. A gimpy, grumpy lobster.

The minute positive is that I averaged a 15:37 second mile on this stupid journey, even when walking the last 8.5 miles. You have to run a 15 minute mile to complete the marathon, so if I'm just able to run for another mile or so I would have been allowed to finish. Thinnest silver lining ever, but it's there.

My strategy from this point onward is still strategically placed core days (because it's really important for me right now), rest days if I have to, and small runs during the week (I'm still not back to the actual training schedule). I will diligently perform my hour and a half of physical therapy every day from here until the 'thon. Hopefully this will get me better enough to stumble through the race.

Seriously folks, I'm so fed up with this I almost want to throw my hands up in the air, just cross train for the last month, turn up at the race and roll the dice. Seems better than a limpy 8.5 mile walk where people are afraid of you because you're sweaty, red faced, and crying.

Yeah. Kind of like that.

Back to the Therapist, Jiggity Jig

Every time I think I've got my head above water, something goes screwy.

This week it was the 14 mile run I did. My foot was feeling good, I'd done ten milers successfully, and I was ready and excited to do my first half marathon. I walked out the door full of energy and anticipation, and it started to rain.

"Who cares!" said I, "It's Half Marathon Day!!!"

Remember how sad I was the week that everyone else got to toddle off on their half and I had to watch? Well I was finally going to do it! I started off at a great pace, ran all the way from Fullerton down to the Aquarium, and turned around without a hitch. Feeling good, even on this soggy day! By mile 8, I was sodden. By mile 9 my shoes were squishy and I finally had to stop for some water. (I don't know how the rest of you runners feel, but the later in the game I can stop, the better. Once I stop moving I want to stay stopped, and I want to stop more and more frequently after that. Objects in motion, blah blah blah Newton.)

So 9-11 were a struggle, but that's about where I should be running into that feeling, since my 10 milers were going well. Here's where things went bad. I am not positive, but my theory is that since my shoes were soaked through the cushioning was not working properly anymore. Maybe not, maybe this would have happened anyway, but the outside of my left knee started to hurt. So badly that by the end of the "run" any downhill slope, regardless of how small the grade, I had to walk. I walked a lot of the last 4 miles actually. I think I probably ran the half, but that 14th mile.... yeesh.

And then I got home and looked at myself. Bedraggled. Chaffed all over my arms and upper torso because my clothes were soaked. Cuts on the back of my heels because who knows why (probably my feet/shoes/socks were soaked). Both knees hurting. I was a wounded warrior that day.

I gave it a couple of days, figuring if my knees hurt doing stairs, I probably shouldn't run. Yesterday I took my baby-friend for a run (well, she slept. I trudged and tried not to feel my knee) and today I set out on what should have been a 10 miler, only to turn around at 1.5 and finishing at 3 miles. My left knee just won't let me do a whole mile without hurting.

So here I am, bordering on injured, and with another physical therapy screening on Friday. I hope and pray that I'll be able to do my 16 miles on Saturday because I'm already playing catch up, and I only have a month and 9 days until race day. 

My feelings about it at this point: frustrated as all get out. Just let me run! I did it so well for four months, why can't I anymore? I definitely believe that I am not built for running, that there is such a thing and it is not me. I am also so annoyed that at this point I feel like even if I drag myself to the start line and half to crawl the whole thing, I am doing that stupid race. The end.